Should I Stay or Should I Go? Should I get a Divorce or Not?
What is a Controlled Separation?
A controlled separation is a structured agreement made with the help of a trained facilitator. It outlines the terms of the separation, providing a framework for both partners to follow. Some terms might include:
- Length of separation: 3 months, 6 months, etc.
- Financial stability: How finances will be managed during the separation.
- Living arrangements: Who will move out and where they will live.
- Dating: Decision on whether to date others during the separation.
- Visitation: Arrangements for children and/or pets.
- Social or sexual contact: Frequency of contact with your spouse.
Benefits of a Controlled Separation
A controlled separation is not a legally binding document but an agreement made with your partner in the presence of a mediator or coach. The concept allows each party to engage in “active waiting,” where they individually work through their issues and examine what they need from the relationship.
This approach can be especially helpful when it is difficult to address these issues while living in a stressful environment together.
Expectations
With Debbie’s training in the Controlled Separation method from Lee Raffel, author of the book, “Should I stay or go: How Controlled Separation Can Save Your Marriage”, her sessions include a three session minimum for following this protocol. Each session is $200 each and lasts between 60-75 minutes. The three session minimum investment of $600 is payable in advance of the first session. Additional sessions are available as needed for the $200 rate per hour.
Couples Feedback
Many couples discuss how this minimum investment and model of controlled separation saved their marriage plus thousands of dollars in lawyer fees. For those where the marriage is not saved, clients say that the conversations gave them clarity and reduced their stress of the separation process, which also led to reduced lawyer interactions and reduced legal fees.